How you Suffered for your Sanity..

"...And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." -Friedrich Nietzsche

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200009/music-the-mind

The link posted above is an interview by Psychology Today on music and the brain.  Norman M. Weinberger, a professor of neurobiology and behavior at the University of California at Irvine, delivers a pretty interesting interview about the role that music has on the human mind and our brain function. He speaks about the relationship b/t science and art (specifically music). The interview focuses on how our brain works both emotionally and intellectually, and how the role of a musical experience can have an impact on the brain. Weinberger was asked many questions, including: if music is in our genes, if musical experience or listening to music shapes our brain, or if it has a long-term effect on the brain. It's a good article. Read it!

I think that music can be innate in our personality, but I also think that experiences with music throughout life play a huge role on our personality as well. I love music. The first prominent memory that I have when I really fell in love with music was when I got the Beatles 1 album for Christmas. I was about 11 years old, and "Hey Jude" was my favorite song. This was before song lyrics were easily accessible online, and I would play the c.d. and pause it after every sentence in order to write down all the lyrics. This was when I first started analyzing lyrics and dancing to rock-and-roll.

Next in line definitely was Elton John; "Tiny Dancer" was all it took. In high school I continued to listen to a variety of music, from the top hits on the radio to the most obscure and indie bands that no one knew of. However, college was when I really found my groove, and since then music has been a very significant part of my life and who I am. After seeing over 100 live shows, camping at several music festivals, and traveling across the nation following music, I met some of the best friends of my life and I have had some of the most exciting and magical times.


Can music be form of therapy?
I think that art can serve as a form of therapy and help with depression; therefore, I think, depending on the individual, music can be one of the best instruments for the human mind. Sometimes when I can't handle all the stressors and chaos in life, or I'm overwhelmed and can't relax, I listen to music. I put on my "be happy" playlist when I need to feel better. I love poetry; thus I love good lyrics, and I probably analyze song meanings to a deeper degree than I should sometimes. People who play an instrument may play to express their emotions or ease their anxiety. Songs that I listen to when I need music to brighten my spirit or get me out of a depression include the following songs: (it's a weird mix of songs b/c I play different songs depending on my mood).These songs seem to make me smile: 

• "Raise the Roof" -Michael Houser
• "You Should Be Glad" -Widespread Panic
• "Blackbird"- The Beatles
• "Here Comes Sunshine" -Grateful Dead
• "This Part of Town" -Widespread Panic
• "Old Man and the Land" -Railroad Earth
• "Aunt Avis" -Widespread Panic
• "Danko/Manuel" -Drive By Truckers
• "Tiny Dancer" -Elton John
• "Please" -Widespread Panic
• "Birdsong" -Grateful Dead
• "Wonderful Tonight" -Eric Clapton
• "Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes" -Paul Simon
• "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" -The Flaming Lips
• "Sandbox" -Michael Houser

"You're mad, bonkers, completely off you head. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best peaple are." -Lewis Carroll

Sooooo, now that we have a better understanding of psychoanalysis, let's psychoanalyze a fun Disney character that we all love- Alice.

Lewis Carroll uses imaginary worlds to explore the creative mind. In the story Alice in Wonderland, Alice is bored with the day-to-day routines, 'average' people, and average conversations. I often have to escape from the real world, because I get bored too. Sometimes the only way to escape from the dullness is to let your mind take you on an adventure, and go to your own little magical wonderland- just as Alice does. It's much like reading a book, or watching a movie, but your creative mind is writing and directing it.

Carroll uses metaphors and analogies as she alters the protagonist and alters their worlds. Alice’s tasks are to build her ego, to expand her consciousness, and to realize and understand herself. Alice in the underworld temporarily has her own identity crisis. Like Jack in Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, she wants to know who she really is. Because she’s changed size so incredibly, she wonders: “But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’ Ah, that’s the great puzzle!” Alice ponders and questions, and spirals into her own alternative world that addresses several different psychological topics and allows for a good analysis of her volatile moods. Psychologist Erik Erikson coined the term "identity crisis." The question 'who am I?' is a question that everyone asks themselves.

The loss of control Alice has in her thinking is interesting and fun. Alice's mind seems to be her best friend in a way; her mind is her friend whom she can carry on endless conversations with, and whom can provide her with a source of laughter or analytic thought that rescues her from sorrow or pain. Her need for spontaneity and her passion to experience and imagine is what takes her into Wonderland. Alice sees the white rabbit scurry by, and, without any hesitation, she jumps down the rabbit hole with alacrity. Her mind is racing and thinking at a million miles an hour. “Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again.” I think this is Alice in a mildly manic mood. Suddenly her mind is more creative, and she can’t stop thinking or talking.

However, after feeling such extreme excitement and curiosity, it’s only normal that she falls into her own pool of tears- ‘what goes up must come down’. She is now confused and scared, and feelings of anxiety began to control her thoughts. “Who am I?” she continues to ask. She feels trapped and alone. She is overwhelmed with confusion; she doesn’t know who she is or where she belongs. Her rapid shrinking size shows how anxiety can controlling and frightening anxiety can be. (For example, anxiety can cause a very extroverted, self-confident person to temporarily become introverted and weak). Not being sure of who you are, can be a very scaring feeling. This varying and unstable self, portrays how a person diagnosed with a mood disorder may feel regularly. When one lives with a mood disorder, it is often difficult for them to know the difference between their ’normal’ and ‘abnormal’ self. A common question is the one Alice keeps asking, “Who is the real me?” She worries that she may be drowning in her own pool of tears, because she can’t get out of this painful, emotional, and agitated feeling. But the good thing about living with changing moods, is knowing that they always change, and you won’t feel that way forever.

 In Chapter III: In A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale, Alice finds the shore, and finds the power to control the anxiety and depression. Here, she meets a group of animals who feel the same way that she does, and they provide support for each other. (These are her best friends in her mind). Carroll writes, “They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank- the birds with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.” The animals, and Alice, began to have a consultation and discuss how to get dry/ how to feel normal again. Alice feels very lonely, hopeless, and lost.

In the next chapter, her moods and her size changes again. Alice gets sick of being so tiny, and not being able to control her physical changes and volatile moods. She is literally stuck in a room, and she sees no way out. It’s similar to describing a panic attack. Alice doesn't know where she fits. She is tense, uncomfortable, scared, worried, can’t relax, and can’t think like herself.

After feeling so trapped, Alice meets the wise (possibly stoned) caterpillar. Her encounter with him is very  much like psychotherapy session; he addresses what is causing her anxiety, and helps her understand and manage her fears and worries. The first question that he asks her is simply "who are you?" One would think that a simple question like that would be easy to answer.... but right now Alice is in a state where that is probably the most difficult question anyone could ever ask. Alice responds saying, "I hardly no sir, just at present- at least. I know who I 'was' when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.... I can't explain 'myself,' I'm afraid, sir because I'm not myself, you see." This conversation with the caterpillar was very insightful for Alice, she left feeling a bit more okay with the idea of changing. She began to understand emotions and human behaviors, and she learned what it truly feels like to feel pain and darkness, as well as excitement, joy, and love.

Alice wanted to escape from the dull listless boring world, so she drank the bottle labeled “drink me” and she ate the cake labeled “eat me”; this altered her and her world, and made things a little more interesting. “Alice had gotten so much into the way of experiencing nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.” Alice was ready for something and just wanted to go 'somewhere'. The animals and characters that she met along the way, explain the different aspects and moods within her personality. The first character that we meet, the white rabbit, represents anxiety and a fear of imperfection. The white hare is always in a hurry, never relaxes, and puts an extreme amount of pressure on him self. When Alice met the Cheshire Cat, she immediately felt comfortable with him. She looked up to him as her smart/more rational subconscious voice. He sent her in the direction of the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, and she arrived as a guest at the Mad Tea-Party. Everything was nonsense and silly, but carefree and peaceful at the same time. At this tea party, time is not an element, and riddles are asked that have no answer. This Tea-Party is a growing experience for Alice. Here she learns to chill out, stop stressing, and just play. Sometimes in life, no matter how old we are, we must take time to remember to play. The characters here that Alice has dreamed up represent her silly, witty, and fun self. Alice lives in a very structured home setting, and this escape and the characters in it allow her to act a different way- which may be seen by others as 'mad' or 'insane.' The Queen's temper also represents a characteristic of Alice herself. This behavior may represent how she feels, or longs to feel, in control and powerful. She is so young, and no one listens to her. However, I think what she is longing to control are her moods.

As Alice awakes from this dream, and returns from Wonderland. She has seen a great deal and learned a lot. This dream will be an experience that Alice will always remember. She now has a better understanding for the world as a whole.

Psychoanalysis 101:

Psychoanalytic insight can enrich your understanding of yourself and human behavior. I think that the most valuable quality humans have is the ability to think- to imagine, to experience, to wonder, to perceive, and to understand. We need to have a mindful awareness of the world, and an open and fresh perspective on life. This allows us to "choose" how we live, and gives us the ability to live as a true individual. People must learn to self-examine their lives in order to understand true happiness in life.

Flower in the Crannied Wall -By Alfred Loyd Tennyson is a very short poem that has had a very large impact on me.

"Flower in the crannied wall,

I pluck you out of the crannies,

I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,

Little flower—but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, all in all,

I should know what God and man is."

Here is a mere little flower taken out of it's proper place. The traveler is trying to understand the depths of this creature, but in order to do so, he must understand it from its roots and all. He plucks, touches, and ponders; he questions and observes. His desire to know all about the flower continues to perplex him, but realizes that after picking it root and all there are elements to the flower beyond his or any one's understanding. To fully understand yourself or others, you must look at what is underneath the outer beauty. It is the things that we don't always show others, that make us the person that we really are. It takes a lot to really open up and share your most painful and most personal things with another person, but if someone really loves you, they will love your imperfections and flaws because those things make you who you are. Our mind is the root of who we are, and it can be impossible to comprehend as a whole. We may never understand ourselves (or others) fully- if we could, we would be omnipotence and godlike; therefore, in order to grow, we must continue to pluck, ponder, analyze, and experience as much of the world as we can.

This poem emphasizes the importance of the psychoanalytic framework, which stresses the importance of understanding (1) that we are all different and unique in many ways, (2) that there are many factors outside of our awareness that influence our thoughts and actions, (3) that the past plays a significant role on the present, and (4) that throughout our entire lives, we are always engaged in this process of development.